God’s Diary

playing-god

Dear Diary,

I am omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. I am good, I am goodness. I am the crusher of evil. I am happiness itself. I am everywhere. I am everlasting.

But, I am also bored.

Yes, it is a terrible feeling being bored. What shall I do? I made the universe, the heavens, the earth and it has been so long since I did that and placed these stupid humans on earth. Now, I am just sitting and watching them as they go about their lives. And I am bored. And there is no one here with me.

Sometimes I enjoy myself by sending hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and have fun watching those “people” fly around and smash into things and things smash into them. And at other times I start jungle fires to clear up the view. My favourite country is, of course, Japan where I like to test my nuclear capabilities. It was fun when I spoilt their reactor. The poor Japs thought they made some mistakes, but why do they forget that I am behind everything that ever happens in the world?

Mostly, I am spending my time spinning a coin to decide whether the next kid to be born should be normal or deformed. If I am tired, I simply send a death wave to kill them all.

I remember when I invented religion. That is something that is still keeping my amused. I appeared in different forms in front of different groups and I liked it when they all got confused. Now, that has brought in some entertainment in the long term. But what I found intriguing was that these people even invented some new religions of their own. I didn’t mean to confuse them so much, but what the hell! And I like the fact that most of them remember me so much, they even pray to me. I know I can easily grant everyone’s wishes but where will be the fun in that?

I want to write more, but what stops me from writing is that there will be nobody to read what I am writing. Except me! So, I think I will just stop here and focus back on Earth. There are a lot of rapes happening in India and I am finally making them more and more gruesome. But don’t you dare think I am immoral. Look at how many women I am saving by not having them raped, even though I’ve said in all my holy books that I hate women. So what if a few of them are sacrificed? At least they are realizing there is again a battle on between good and evil (wink! wink!).

godcomputerIn my defense, I may be subjecting some small amount of people to tragedies, but look at how much good I have been doing at the same time? Look at what a role model I have made out of (that atheist) Stephen Hawking by paralyzing him for life and yet he has become an enigma for everyone. He represents hope for millions whom I have made that way. So, don’t I infuse hope into the lives of people by taking something away from them? Isn’t that what humans should be learning from all of this?

But those 16% atheists, they just don’t understand me. But I know you do understand, my dear diary, don’t you?

With Love,

(The) God!

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About Shitij Bagga
I am a blogger, writer, amateur photographer, obsessive reader. I like writing short stories and some of my works are published as multiformat ebooks, that can be downloaded from Smashwords. My author's page at Smashwords is: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/shitijbagga I am a huge fan of reading and collecting books of almost all genres. I love reading science, philosophy, literature and fiction, psychology, biographies, history, leadership, etc. I am a habitual reader and not a single day passes by without me having read at least a page out of any one of my hundred plus book collection. My favorite works being the complete collection of Sherlock Holmes as well as the complete Jeeves and Wooster series by PG Wodehouse. Reading is a part of me that I can never let go and so most of my blogs would be based on ideas that I got from reading. Photography is also one of my hobbies and I love clicking pictures of the places that I visit. I will be uploading some of my favorite pictures in my blog as well.

3 Responses to God’s Diary

  1. Mike says:

    Superbly well written. I can not think of others ways of writing it better
    Here is a fun thing to look at http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/2479/selection354.jpg
    Besides, if God is so merciful, why doesn’t her stop this human massacre? Why watch silently? http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2401/soyoubelieve4children.jpg

  2. AtulBhatS says:

    Awesomely Put. I am Reblogging this.

  3. AtulBhatS says:

    Reblogged this on From the Mind of AtulBhatS and commented:
    Something really Funny, Creative and True at the same time.
    Feelings of God.

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