The phobia of reading Romance

There is something weird about reading novels on romance because I have never been able to read one. Yes, Love Story by Eric Segal is something almost everyone has read and so have I, but I must declare, with humbleness, that that is where my affair with the genre ends (so far as reading books is concerned).

I’ve bought and read hundreds of books in my life – philosophy, biographies, crime, drama, humor, etc. – but I have never been able to pick up another book on romance. I’ve heard a lot about authors who write very good romance and I’ve also considered getting my hands on Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare, but something doesn’t click. Trust me, I am not against the concept of romance, and like everyone else, I do aspire for it in the same way, but there is something about these books that makes me keep away from reading them.

After years and years, I finally own The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks – a book that is only about 180 pages. I’ve had it with me for over 2 months and yet I am unable to finish it.

What is this phobia then? Is it the fear of loss or the possibility of happiness that they might falsely promise?

Does everything happen for good?

good bad

When something bad happens and people tell you, “In the end, everything happens for the good,” I find it unbelievable how easy and simplistic they make it sound. How do you know things ALWAYS happen for the good? And how do you know that that good will be for everyone involved? Moreover, how and when will you know the end if there ever was one?

If someone was born physically challenged. Would you say everything happened for the good? You know what could have been good? Being born NOT physically challenged.

If someone contracts a fatal disease, like cancer, would you say everything happens for the good? One might give examples of survivors like Neil Armstrong and Yuvraj Singh and make a point that “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” But ask yourself this. Did cancer make them stronger or was it the fact that it was cured that made them stronger? And what about the thousands that Cancer really kills as opposed to the very few handful who survive?

Two people who love each other get separated. Would you say everything happened for the good? Good of whom? For one, I could understand, but for both? I can’t agree. And by “In the end..” what do you mean? When should that end have been? Finding the next partner? But even that might not be the end? You might separate from them also. Then what? Will the end keep shifting until the whole thing becomes pointless?

Life is not for people to pretend to simplify. Human beings are complex and their lives and situations are complex. Good doesn’t always happen. Nothing’s ever right and you can’t always make things right.

Let us not cheat each other of our tragedies by saying that everything happens for the good. Things just happen. You don’t get what is good for you, you just get what you get. There is no universe looking out for you trying to strike a balance. You just need to be happy in whatever you have.

Enjoy your happiness but equally enjoy your miseries.

 

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